It’s been a few weeks since we wrapped up our latest competition, this time for a silly poem with rules specified by my good friend The Food Pornographer (www.thefoodpornographer.com) as follows -
1st line must be Roses are red.
Lines 2 and 4 to rhyme.
Line 4 a Malaysian dish.
Poem must not make sense.
We had A LOT of entries over the 2 weeks it ran, and as usual, there were some gems among them, as you can see from the list at the bottom. I’m glad I’m not the one stuck with picking the winner (or it’d be hard to get past the blatant attempt at flattery in Andrew Moate’s submission) – the thankless task, as on previous occasions, goes to The Food Pornographer 
My apologies by the way, for those who’ve been waiting in anticipation for the announcement; I’ve been very busy, not to mention the fact that I was largely off the grid travelling in Malaysia for 2 weeks.
Honorable mentions go to @pet_dentist and @nessisms for both quality and quantities of entries – to you both, I’m offering $30 vouchers to be used for any Jackie M products at any location.
The winner of a Dinner for 4 at Jackie M’s however, goes to….(drumroll…) – @strawberrythief for – Roses are red Whatchu talkin’bout, Willis? Struggling to rhyme stuff. Ikan bilis.
There was a handful of shortlisted ones, and both Cynthia and I agreed this made us LOL right off the bat
To all the winners, please if you could email vani@jackiem.com.au so she can send your vouchers out to you – we’re in the process of designing some snazzy ones so give us a little time to get sorted; if you do decide to redeem your prizes before that, by all means just mention it to my staff when you make your purchase; we know who you are
Thank you so much to everyone who participated (some of you need Malaysian pronunciation lessons btw – hahaha j/k) – and we hope you all had as much fun writing these as we did reading them
ps. There are a couple of cheeky references to Thai dishes by some of the entrants – they’re not confusing Malaysian food with Thai so much as they’re trying to irritate me because of my well-known capacity to overreact to customers who do get my food mixed up with that of our northern neighbours 
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LIST OF ENTRIES -
@pet_dentist Roses are red. Hey good on ya. My poetry sucks. Deluxe laksa nyonya
@pet_dentist Roses are red. Dog dug a hole. Cyclone up north. Need ice chendol
@TFPtweets Roses are red. Does ice cream please you? Cone of silence. Roti tisu
@pet_dentist Roses are red. Do the cha cha. I can’t dance.Eat some acar
@pet_dentist Roses are red. I’ve got a sore back. The dog is barking. Nasi lemak
@pet_dentist Roses are red. kids have head lice. Jackiem has blonde hair. Hainanese chicken rice
@nessisms Roses are red, I hate Geelong, na na na na Batman, Sambal Sotong
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, violets are blue, hainan chickens are delicious, kimye is coming
@Jonnie_da_man Roses are red, violets are blue, char kuay teow is awesome. JackieM is cranky
@qtfan Roses are red Violets are blue I love Malaysian food For which I’ll moo
@chiasmus Roses are red Violets snow blue That’s why I’m eating Young Tau Foo
@muppys Roses are red should ring my ma What is it that she said? Slurp some Assam Laksa
@chiasmus Roses are red I’m not a Puritan That’s why this poem Almost rhymes with durian
@chiasmus Roses are red I like my back Tissues are green Craving nasi lemak
@nessisms Roses are red, I just burped up my Maccas McFlurry, Love is a battlefield, Fish Curry
@nessisms Roses are red, I am feeling snotty, Jackie’s baby is named Noah, Roti
@nessisms Roses are red, I dislike drinking latte, my rabbit humped my leg, Chicken Satay
@jezzster Roses are smelly, violets are not. I love a roti when it’s flaky and hot
@vanityfare1: Roses are red Prices are high YOLO… Pad Thai!
@eatdrinkntweet Roses are red and I’m talking smack, we’ll dance in the sunshine nasi lemak
@misspiggyeats: roses are red, I love a McFlurry,..going to hide now, Thai Green Curry (don’t hit me Jackie)
@VanityFare1 Roses are red The plot must thicken Don’t give away the punch line! Hainanese chicken.
@adamgdunn Roses are red but don’t call me a whore. You’ve jumped the shark, add in some Knorr®!
@DrMarctagon Roses are red, That wall has a clock, I just picked my nose, Martabak
@misspiggyeats: roses are red, my cat says meow, big toes are ugly, char kway teow.
@idreaminchoc Roses are red, a birdie just sang, holy crap a butterfly, Such refreshing ice kacang!
@thestrawberrythief @strawberrythief Roses are red Whatchu talkin’bout, Willis? Struggling to rhyme stuff. Ikan bilis.
@VanityFare1 Roses are red Noises go bang Unicorns are real Beef rendang.
@misspiggyeats: roses are red, a beard’s not a goatee, I just saw a pigeon, give me some Roti
@misspiggyeats: roses are red, my boobs are not fake, Dolly Partons are, black carrot cake.
@VanityFare1 Roses are red I’m not a liar Oooh, a shiny thing! Roti kaya.
@VanityFare1 Roses are red Deborah Harry is Blondie Jackie M is a banana Onde-onde.
@strawberrythief Roses are red Invisible Man This one time, at Band Camp… Nasi padang
@strawberrythief Roses are red. Combi van. Fasten your seatbelts! Rambutan.
@strawberrythief: Ooh! Roses are red. Home and Away. Kardashian baby. Bak kut teh.
@MelleeMoo Roses are red I go round on the swing As the kid says Ba He means Kari Kambing!
@MelleeMoo Roses are red They tell me I rang To read out a book About the great yee sang
@MelleeMoo Roses are red I am very slack When I want good Malaysian I run to for achar awak! Makes too much sense?
@nessisms Roses are red, NASA has a satellite dish, Someone just farted, Assam Fish
@nessisms Roses are red, my friend just rang, Exit sign on the left, Beef Rendang
@nessisms Roses are red, I went to the loo, I can spell cat, Malay Beef Stew
@pet_dentist Roses are red. Lets have a party. Poetry is tricky. Chicken satay.
@pet_dentist Roses are red. Fireworks go bang. chillies are red too. Beef rendang.
@pet_dentist Roses are red. I hate papaya.The weather is hot. Roti kaya.
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, just followed @Madame_Pop, Wow… Gotta go get some sticky pork chops
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, Obama says yes you can, let me win this pretty please, I have some Belacan
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, hellaluyah … Twitter is great, give me some bakkwa
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, what do you know about me??, Malaysia festival, the winner will be me because of hokkien me
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, where is the best place to stay, what’s up ya’ll, Jackie’s satay
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, knock knock howdy… What did I just say… Forget it just give me my roti
@pet_dentist Roses are red. Jackie’s a blondie. Time for sleeping. Yum onde onde.
@pet_dentist Roses are red. Dog did a poo. I’m really quite tired. Yong tau foo.
@pet_dentist roses are red. Don’t have a cow. Going to bed. Jackie’s Sui gow.
@pet_dentist roses are red. bald man named Kojak. Guess the next line. Need to try Rojak.
@pet_dentist Roses are red. Hitting the hay. Long way from Sydney. Chai tow kway
@pet_dentist Roses are red, I want to work for NATO, Cowabunga Dude, Spicy Lamb and potato
@nessisms Roses are red, I am in such a hurry, I tawt I taw a puddy tat, Lamb Curry
@nessisms Roses are red, umm something ficken, my rabbit is trying to hump my leg, Kapitan Chicken pic.twitter.com/IZgqOKUr
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, how are u going over there?? Twitter is awesome , because of bak kut teh
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, ring a ring a ding, now I’m on a roll, what about some rendang….
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, what about me?? Hell… Gimme some wantan mee
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, My fav fruit is papaya, happy Australia Day, now gimme me some popiah
@Jonnie_da_man roses are red, where’s the best place to stay, It really doesn’t make sense now, chicken satay
@Jonnie_da_man @jackiemsydney #jackiempoem roses are red, Malay food is fricken, what the hell??hainanese chicken
@Jonnie_da_man Roses are red. Jackie M is cranky, I have a craving, for char kuay teow with kransky.
Amy Zhong -
Roses are red
Bbq needs coal
The stars are tiny
Im in desperate need for cendol
Roop de Su -
roses are red
Jackie M dinner for free
i come from a land down under
hokkien mee
Roop de Su -
roses are red
relaxing in a spa
b-b-bazinga
ice bubur cha cha
Roop de Su -
roses are red
advance australia fair
swing swing wing wing
nyonya kueh
Roop de Su -
roses are red
don’t have a cow
rock paper scissors lizard spock
seremban siew pau
Melody Tan -
Roses are red
She in French is Elle
Chickens are awesome
Char Kway Teow!
John Nilon -
Roses are red
Coal is quite black
Dinner on Saturday night was delicious
But I missed the Murtabak
Paul Gray -
Roses are red.
Your hair sure ain’t black!
We’ll be back real soon…
For some Nasi Lemak.
Clarky Chan -
Roses are red,
Aircon and an electric fan,
A bus and a bed,
Tonight we have free rendang
Stephen Doyle -
Roses are red
Frangipani’s for all
The Pontianak is craving
A yummy cendol
Abdal Khan -
Roses are red
My name is Abdal Khan
I am from Pakistan
But Jackie’s roti beats my naan.
Nita Lo
Roses are red
I think I’m going spotty
I’m sick of plain bread
So please give me heaps of Roti
Kamal Khan
Roses are red
Christiano ronaldo loves to cry
Bcoz people like you and me
Cant get over your roti canai
Caesar Wong -
Roses are red
At your restaurant I’ll stay
But I’d eat so much that
I’d kick the bah-ku-teh!
Irene Yeung -
Roses are red
Sambal lots of spice
Ya la, bring the sauces
To go with my chicken rice!
Rebecca Simunic -
Roses are red
Jackie M’s I will stay
Lets go to Penang!
I love Chicken Satay!
January 15 at 10:50am • Edited • Unlike • 1
Caesar Wong -
Roses are red
Glass is so clear
I got no nice flowers to give you
So I give you poppy-ah! (popiah)
Min Park -
Roses are red
My mouth is red
My butt is red
Why? I had Kari Ayam…
Andrew Moate -
Roses are red,
JackieMs is a hottie
we’re sure to return
for more of the roti
Rachelle Teoh Qian Ning -
Roses are red,
you can’t see me,
grizzly bear sleeping,
please more roti
Photo from our recent Masterclass courtesy of Ian Chow
